Smells, Sights, Sounds.

Having had another chat with Megan, we were discussing how my hallway installation could be added to in terms of creating a more cohesive piece; something that reflects its realism rather than an art student's crappy attempt at building a makeshift hallway.
The talk included minute details that I have really even considered, things like an air freshener, the use of household objects/items such as a bowl of pauperie, or glass coasters. It's all in the small details I guess.

Another important element I was already looking at was the use of a lamp/light in my installation. It was brought up however that the overhead daylight bulbs in the studios would be on for the entirety of the exhibitions. Megan suggested the use of a board to cover above where my installation would be, however I didn't feel safe with that idea- I don't want the responsibility on my head if the board were to fall on anyone. Hence my next suggestion, using material like netting to cover the 'ceiling' on my installation, to darken the space and therefore the light from the hallway lamp would have a heavier impact and also create an ambience.

I should be an interior designer

This afternoon saw a trip into B&Q after College, to look at flooring, skirting board and wallpaper for my installation.

Having measured my floor space to approx 6m2, I initially looked at carpet tiles- NB: I need a flooring that is thin; there is a fire door in my area and therefore as the door would be opening and closing, I need something with a tread of <5mm (the space left under the door) - the tiles worked out at just over £60 for 6m2.. Now whilst I want a quality fit and aesthetic, I'm a student and realistically I really don't have that sort of money to spend.
The next idea was vinyl, again expensive. My total floor area is 1.5m x 3m, and the vinyl flooring came in rolls of 2m x 2m, at £25 each. Firstly it would come to a total of £50, but I would also have a rather unsightly join in the middle of my flooring. Not nice.
The third option, Fablon. This is a product that is basically sticky back plastic with the look of a vinyl wooden floor. Now at £9.99 per roll, that's pretty nifty. Apart from when the roll comes in 1.5m x 0.9m, which then means I have to buy 4 at the grand total of just under £40.. Not so nifty.
I'm not a tight wad, but at the same time I refuse to pay £40+ just for a floor that's only going to be stuck down for 3 weeks then binned.
But alas, a miracle was cast upon us! Mumma Wright came across a dark brown carpet (the type you'd see in a classroom, but hey I can't afford to be choosy) that was about 4mm thick, and the best part? £3 per square metre!!!! £3 x 6m2 = £18, thank you veeeery much and I'll take that nicely.
The wallpaper choosing was a million times easier. Now I'm not saying that I should be an interior designer... But I should. I was going for a generic 'hallway' type wallpaper, but also had the key point in mind that a brightly coloured/ patterned design would just flush my hanging photographs away, their intention and intensity would be lost into the background of a wallpaper style.

Playing Houses

I've been looking further into what my installation could, would and should look like in terms of aesthetics, space and physical ability to work. A couple of super quick doodles show how I'm beginning to think about practicality and how the domestic environment would actually look.

If you can just make out, the above sketch shows the utilisation of a shelf, but on thinking about it- you don't really see shelves in hallways, therefore the below sketch has changed to use a table. The introduction of this household item would allow similar- if not larger- space for storage and is constantly adding to a homely aesthetic; it creates a more natural space to enter into.

Love on the Left Bank

From the previous post this is an example of a pioneer in the Photonovel, Ed van der Elsken, and his photobook Love on the Left Bank.

All I ever do is read.

Yet more reading, reading reading reading! Apparently it's good for you.
I've currently loaned The Genius of Photography- How photography has changed our lives by Gerry Badger, and just been constantly reading through different sections (it's a big book).

I came across the idea of 'Photonovel' yesterday afternoon and whilst in detail it's not so much the same, the overall gist seemed fairly familiar and I could make links with my current work.

Photonovel:
"The 'photonovel' was developed by Dutch photographers in the 1950s. Using photography as a diaristic medium, this type of photo book often employed a stream-of-consciousness style.
And it defined a more personal, spontaneous kind of documentary photography, private rather than public in intention, focusing upon a photographer's own life, rather than others."

Whilst this concept sounds completely alien, I do feel that it sort of works backwards in terms of my own work.. (stay with me) In the sense that although I didn't take the photographs, in particular the ones I'm going to be using for my final major project are like a photonovel for me. They behold a private view of my childhood years, and with the intentions of my publicised work wanting to be kept private, I feel it actually fits in pretty well.

Talking Russian

Илья́ Ио́сифович Кабако́в

I have recently been reading about Ilya Kabakov's theory of the 'Total Installation' and it has been very interesting and insightful in terms of the way I choose to go about the creation, set up and publication of my works. I wanted to do some background reading within the discipline of installation art, as it is an area I have never explored within my own work before.

"One is simultaneously both a 'victim' and a viewer, who on the one hand surveys and evaluates the installation, and on the other, follows those associations, recollections which arise in him; he is ovecome by the intense atmosphere of the total illusion."
The expectations and social habits that the viewer takes with him into the space of the installation that will remain with him as he enters, to be either applied or negated once he has taken in the new environment.

"With a total installation, there is no divide between the artist and the audience. In a way, you create a painting and you allow the viewer inside the painting, which has become three-dimensional instead of one-dimensional." [1]

Audiences are typically saturated by the stories that the Kabakovs tell through their monumental works. They become the characters in the art that is taking place all around them. For example, in The Toilet, above, (originally erected for Documenta IX in 1992) viewers stand at the corner of a house in which they hear intermittent singing coming out of a toilet. Niccolo Sprovieri, who has known the Kabakovs for two decades and showcased their work at his gallery in London 14 years ago, reflects on this powerful work: "You are by the toilet in the corner of a room. You hear the voice of someone, sometimes singing, sometimes laughing. The idea is that everyone has shared rooms in this house and there is only one room in which you can be alone, a place where you can express yourself without fear of being judged."

I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir, because I am not myself, you see?

After my analogue photography workshop with Megan Wellington, I've been thinking more about moving image- we were able to edit a Super 8 film reel and the aesthetic was something that has increasingly interested me. I would relate these ideas with my own work by using home videos of myself, again with the reference of the readymade and the links to memory (more specifically of my childhood, this again creates a cohesion and unity of work).

I have since been thinking about this further, and in terms of the way I am thinking about the overall look of my installation, I don't think a television would quite fit into it. Therefore... dun dun duuun! I've been thinking a lot about sound!
It's not something I have ever considered before, I have never done my own sound piece, and in honesty I've never hugely looked into sound artists or given much heed towards the discipline.

My idea at this stage is to still use the home videos of little me, but rather than have my audience seeing it, they would be hearing it instead. I feel that this relates back to Freud's concept of the uncanny; something that is familiar but also incredibly alien to us. I would use the sound but hidden within the installation- an unknown source.

hearing but not seeing, hearing but not believing? ...Interesting.

On a serious note.

I was privy to a conversation yesterday between both of my tutors, Chris and Steve, discussing the potential misreading and misunderstanding of my work, in the light of recent events that have occured here.
At the beginning of the year, a little girl called Lydia unfortunately passed away on the College site, and there have been ongoing hearings and trials surrounding this incident.
The tutors were talking about the possible links between the aforementioned tragedy, and my work. Whilst I explore the idea of memory and existence, because I am relaying these ideologies through the use of childhood photos of myself, I can see how people could see my art and think I am making a connection. From this I need to be delicate around the situation; it is my absolute last intention to cause upset or further hurt to anyone.
Chris discussed the idea of writing a plaque of piece of information to go with my art, and whilst I understand the reasons behind this, to inform the public that it's not my intention or purpose to make any relation, I specifically do not want my audience to know the reasons behind my work, so I feel that by making an information sheet, it defeats the entire point of my art.

I do admire your courage. I think I'll eat your heart.

Red Dragon.

From a trilogy of films based on Hannibal Lecter, I was watching the second film, Red Dragon a while ago, and there is a specific shot and sub plot within the murder investigation scene by the police officer- it caught my attention, and actually influenced my work (but not in a weird twisted way, fyi).

The bit I mean is where Will Graham (police officer) is looking and noting the first crime scene in order to reveal particular idiosyncrasies of the killer, and it is where he finds the smashed mirrors in the house of the victims. The bits of mirror are then placed in the victims' eyes. It is this part that was important to me; a famous quote is that "eyes are the window to the soul" and from here I began thinking.

I was thinking about it (long winded, but stay with me) because eyes are a personal thing.. Most of us would be happy to donate our organs when we pass away, but plenty of people I know wouldn't donate their eyes. Why? "Because they're mine, I've seen my life through them.. they're my own". Therefore grew my initial ideas in the pathway stage of covering the [photos of me as a baby] eyes in my first photographs with words. It was a later accident that saw my idea of scratching photos of myself away, to remove the personality of the person. It started with the eyes but then moved into the whole body to create a removal of existence.

The latter idea was also partially taken from a moment in a scene from Red Dragon again; the scrapbook about Hannibal, belonging to The Tooth Fairy killer shows a scribbling out of a photograph with a pen, and it slightly screws the paper up. My work was simply the intentional act of this 'Freudian slip'.

Sodium Hypochlorite.

In initial experiments during the Pathway Stage, I was thinking about the 'removal of existence', and therefore was working towards how I could show this in a physical sense.
It was a concept that had sprung from the idea of pickling and preservation of life- something not dissimilar to Hirst's Shark in Formaldehyde (The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living).

However my idea was the complete opposite, only with the aesthetics of the impression of preserving. I decided to try a quick, crude version- a mock up shall we say. I simply used old glass jars and inserted a photograph (printed onto cartridge paper; this allows absorption of the liquid) then filled the first jar with white spirit. After a week or so, I couldn't see any changes at all so decided to fill a second jar with house bleach. The colour of the bleach is a watery yellow, but actually adds to the aesthetic of "pickling".

I did this around a month ago, and looked at the bleached jar recently. It has eroded away at the paper photograph and has left it looking chewed at, old and worn. I decided that I want this work to become part of my final piece/ installation, so created new bleached jars with more thought and consideration taken this time.

I realise to be creating final work with almost 4 weeks of the project left sounds premature, but it needs the time to 'pickle' and for the bleach to take any effect on the photographs. I chose to use two baby bottles instead of glass jars as on first appearance they seem far less hostile, and can almost just blend into the background of work until the public use their eyes to explore the cruel realities. I have also purposely chosen photographs of myself at slightly different ages, but close enough so the audience can see it is the same little person.

Again, through thought and consideration, I have used two photos that hide the faces of the child (seen below). This repeats the overall ideology that I know the denotation of my work, of the photographs and the people in them, but that my audience does not. I don't want people to know from the outset that every image within the work is of me at various ages and stages of life. If they work it out, then good on them but I'm not one to be giving out a head start.

Hand Grenades.

Susan Hiller. A video /photography /installation artist, she annually holds a "cremation" for her works; she sets fire to the work and later fills the ashes into jars- paralleling the human service.

The photograph to the right is of her work Hand Grenades 1972, whereby each cyclinder contains individually labelled paintings from 1969. The artist describes her annual burning and reconfiguring of paintings in quasi-scientific formats as a ‘ritual’.

This notion adds to the feel of ephemera, and something I want to touch on in a sense, but not for it to overpower the pieces I create.

Back to basics.

I thought I'd write up about the workshop I took part in a few weeks ago just as an extra note.

I was invited to take part in an Analogue Photography workshop led by Megan Wellington as part of her PGCE course. I was slightly nervous simply due to having never academically studied Photography, it's always been more of a hobbie, an interest of mine but never being properly shown how to take a photo. Self taught, if you like.
We were asked about pros and cons of both Analogue and Digital Photography at the start of the session- the obvious and typical points were made, for example: you can take numerous attempts in digital, but with analogue the moment capture is precious; you can't waste frames (film is now *expletive* expensive!).

To my surprise, we were given one of Megan's (many) cameras to explore and play around with, plus a whole roll of film between 2- so 11/12 frames each. She gave us time to get to grips with the depth of field, aperture and light balance of the cameras, testing out variations in each frame to see on development if we could see the differences.
It was something that interested me far more than I imagined; having always used Digital Photography, I had never really seen the benefits with film. Since the workshop however, I have invested in my own Canon AE-1 35mm SLR Film Camera!

Below are a couple of the photographs I took and some annotation. Although they both slightly bled, I love the aesthetic.

Crit Feedback

Yesterday as a continuation of the lecture Tom Rodgers gave on Tuesday, artist and curator Emma Bolland and Judit Bodor came in to give a talk about their own work, as well as the current collaboration (with Rodgers) exhibition Milky Way You Will Hear Me Call in the College Gallery.
They talked about the work they do in terms of curating, creating and collaborating, a considerable amount of which I found to be fairly contradictory, but hey, I guess that's artists for you.

Afterwards, Emma and Tom came into the Fine Art room to talk to some of us about our project work and ideas, then gave the opportunity to offer feedback and constructive criticism.
I wanted to speak to them as I found their words and work to be relevant to my own ideologies; both Emma and Tom could see the links between my intentions and their current work.
I was suggested things like:

• clear out my desk/ wall- it's currently inhabited by a lot of previous project work, so by cleaning and sorting things out, it would allow me to see more clearly the current work I am progressing with, rather than becoming sidetracked from non important material. It again gives the opportunity to see my work as a collective, to see the cohesion and intertextuality between the pieces and to be able to view what works and where it is weaker, etc.
• "take your work for a walk"- this was an idea to get me out of my 'domestic' box that I appear to have put myself into; Emma said to literally move and work in different places as I could become potentially domesticated into the idea of working in one particular place or manner- to remove myself from familiar environments that would allow me to concentrate deeper into the FMP work. Secondly, it was suggested to pick up ideas, for example taking my work to the park: the connoted link between photographs of a child within the park environment, to take new photographs and explore the potential and ideas to come from it. By using old photographs in a new place and time, it seems to explore the links and juxtapositions in a well rounded manner.

These were both helpful comments, something I can carry out and experiment with ease. Initially I was a bit dubious to have my work critiqued by practising artists as I feared my work would be instantly slated, but in hindsight it was extremely helpful. If anything, it allowed me to look a little more 'outside the box', to be horrifically cliched.

FINISHED Statement Of Intent.

Section One- Your Final Major Project

The title of my Final Major Project collection is “These Faded Memories”. Within this project I am aiming towards producing a body of work that evolves around the ideas of deterioration of existence and the ideas of memory that are interlinked. I am hoping to create a realised, final installation piece that contextualises the domestic environment and our individual understanding and relationships with these places. Ideologies from my work during the Pathway Stage shall be carried further into the final project; the idea of personal empathy towards individual experiences of the past and our own memories of childhood through photographic documentation and the ephemera that surrounds it. A key element within my project is also the idea that my memories are my own; the audience takes their own view, understanding and perspective, whilst I know truth amongst the unknown, but it is an identity I do not wish to share. Interpretation and connotation are the basis of significance that surrounds this body of work.

Section Two- Influences, Research, Sources and Ideas

Artists and photographers that work with the ideas of identity, memory and existence have been the main influence for the ideas of my final project; Christian Boltanski, Richard Billingham and Thomas Rodgers are key to the links between produced work, and my own ideas and intentions. I have however also looked into contextual theories such as those of Sigmund Freud and Ilya Kabakov; Freud’s work into the theory of the uncanny is directly relatable to the work throughout this project. I also plan to visit locations such as IKEA, show homes and neighbour/relatives homes to collect imagery of the domestic environment; past and present.

Section Three- Techniques, Processes, and Timescale

My intention throughout this project is to utilise found objects, to experiment with their own history and contextual concept within my work. The idea that using the readymade from my own life and childhood, already creates an idea of the pieces becoming ephemera, juxtaposing with the impression of the permanence of a photograph. I also plan to experiment into the editing of photographs which is a crucial part of the idea of fading within the memory, alongside framing and adding to the indication of a homely, domestic feel. The timescale reflects a realistic, set out plan within six weeks to achieve the greatest input and output of work.

Section Four- Method of Evaluation

Analysis of the Final Major Project shall come from the reviews during group critiques as well as any other given opinions which I shall record in my sketchbooks. I will look into the analysis of the overall aesthetic, as well as individual aspects of the work(s) in terms of technique, composition, framing, and spatial awareness within the exhibition. Throughout the project I intend to take photographs and annotate the current successes and failures within each phase of the timescale, in order to relate back to the referenced work of both artists and contextual theories. This proposal will help with my overall review of the project and from here will be able to determine success and articulate the areas in which could be improved upon.

Research- Graham (NB someone got a little deep here...)

Paul Graham is a Photographer I only heard of through Tom yesterday in his lecture.. Therefore felt it necessary to take a cheeky look at his works. Whilst I can enjoy his images aesthetically, I don't particularly understand them. However I don't feel that you need to necessarily understand an image to appreciate it.

I asked Tom if I could have a copy of the lecture Graham gave in 2009, that he was reading from yesterday. Again, I don't feel I understand Photography in general to entertain some of the ideologies Graham has written about, but key phrases hit home in terms of the influences of my own work- both personal and for the FMP.

"Which pictures matter? Is it the hard won photogrph, knowing, controlled, previsualised? ...Sometimes, it is the offhand snapshot made on a whim."

"But my photography doesn't always fit ito neat, coherent series, so maybe I need to roll freeform around this world... Sometimes that works, sometimes it's indulgent, but really, it's your choice, because you are also free to not make 'sense'."
-This statement affected me more than I thought it would or even intended to. To be quite frank, I wouldn't say I'm a Photographer in the slightest. I barely know how to hold a camera. I wouldn't really say I'm an Artist either, although I think I understand how to hold a paintbrush.. I guess what I'm saying after reading that quote though, is that do I really need to know all the ins and outs of f.stops, light balance and depth of field? I've always felt very judged when presenting photograps amongst my peers; there are some who do know all of these things, and I guess I just wanted to take a "proper" picture, whatever you want to call it. However recently and even more so now, I've been experimenting with what I like, be it out of focus, wonky or even under exposed. I'm searching more and more into the photographers and artists that use imagery in other ways than to simply document, to attach feeling, emotion and intertextuality into their work. I feel like that's what I'm doing. I think I feel more settled, with my imagery. More settled with what my artwork is becoming about.

"Photography is the mostcommon method via which people attempt to keep a hold of things they feel that are important. Whether it is the people we attach our affections to... the photograph can make a record of these things and, at times, can come to supersede the things photographed in terms of importance; they become the physical manifestation of our memories."

This bottom highlighted quote was taken from Tom Rodgers again, upon reading Graham's work. I connected with this too; my work definitely represents the importance that memory has in connection to photographs. I'm "all about" the idea that memories aren't really our own- how an image can portray interpretation as much as it can with truth.

Research- Rodgers

Yesterday, as usual on a Tuesday morning, was our contextual studies lecture (our last one!!! boo). Usually taken by Chris, this time it was held by Tom Rodgers. Instantly I felt comfortable as Tom is someone I see on a regular occurrence- he's a Photography tutor at College.

His photographs, for me, were very interesting to look at in terms of aesthetics, composition and technique.

Whilst Tom was speaking, he read out two passages that were very distinctive for me and the work in progress throughout my Final Major Project. One of which was taken from www.oneandother.com - an online magazine for the city of York and surrounding areas-  in which he has written several articles, which led me to inverstigate these other artistic scrawlings. To be honest however, I did find them pretty articulate and of refined interest to read.

Quotes below are taken from http://www.oneandother.com/authors/tom-rodgers/ from his articles about Photography and comments about his personal work.

"... there is not many an occasion when I recognise anything in a fraction of a second, nor is there a great deal of realisation that anything of unusual significance is happening around me. Perhaps my decisive moment is the ongoing moment of the continual pursuit of photographic images that might render visible something of how I feel about life and my place within the world"

"I work mainly in black and white as it allows me to concentrate more on composition and formal elements and so the use of colour when I am working becomes an element around which I build images, focusing on details and arrangements that would otherwise become lost in black and white."

"Simply explaining what is in a photograph is, of course, easy, if not pointless – we can see what’s in the picture, why do I need to describe it?"

"... it often becomes common to fall into the trap of attempting to explain a photograph merely by describing the content of the image, a process which is all but pointless... the words will not do it justice regardless of the lucidity of the description and will ultimately create within the recipient's mind a unique image largely variable to the original."

"We all take pictures, very nearly all of the time, recording the events that we are involved in and gathering memories for recall at some unspecified but apparently universal time when we will want to look back on who we were at a specific point in the lives that we have led"

"...I do feel that there is, within images of people and especially in images of oneself, a very definite attempt to retain life"

"The knowledge that while one is explicitly being in the present moment, the ‘me’, the self that is being observed in the image is, of necessity, no longer being and, in the future, that the self of the present moment will also cease to be"

- These last quotes in particular represent how I feel towards my own work; my FMP is to do with the idea of memory, existence and the idea of their deterioration, through photographic documentation. The images used are of myself as a child, but by editing myself out of them, the photograph becomes anonymous and therefore only I understand the true context and meaning of the image, whilst my audience can only take connotation from their own views and interpretation. Something that is of paramount importance for my exhibition.

Quick Ideas..



I was talking with Steve recently about potential exhibition space and the idea of hanging my work in an area that already looks (more than a single, white board) more like a domestic environment.

I quickly sketched what it looks like (evidently amazing) and annotated, however took pictures to follow. By cataloguing, it shows I am looking at gallery and exhibition ideas, and thinking about composition the aesthetics that would best suit my work.

Lecture Boredom Scribbles!

Three stupidly quick ideas that seemed to pop into my head during the lecture with Tom Rodgers. (At least my thoughts were about FMP so don't tell me off Chris!!)

Three variations of what currently are the base form of what my installation piece could look like.

I have another 5 weeks to see how much this could change really... We shall see.

Exploration of Readymade..

The use of the readymade (everyday object selected and designated as art) has been important within art over the last 100 years. Marcel Duchamp, a pioneer within the discipline, created the first "ready made" artwork- Bicycle Wheel 1913, which consisted of a wheel mounted on a stool, as a protest against the excessive importance attached to works of art. It was technically a "ready made assisted", because it was two items combined.
The best known readymade, also by Duchamp is the urinal- Fountain 1917. By selecting mass-produced, commonplace objects, Duchamp attempted to destroy the notion of the uniqueness of the art object. The result was a new, controversial definition of art as an intellectual rather than a material process. [1]

This process became ever popular right through the 20th and now 21st Century, seeing Young British Artists incorporating "found" objects into their works. The most famous from this century, perhaps Hirst's The Physical Impossiblity of Death in the Mind of Someone Living, or Emin's Anyone I Have Ever Slept With.

Boltanski- Existing Works

(Christian Boltanski, Autel de Lycée Chases, 1986–87. "Altar to the Chases High School". Six photographs, six desk lamps, and twenty-two tin boxes, 170.2 x 214.6 x 24.1 cm.)

The power of photography to recall the past has inspired many contemporary artists to use photographs to revisit the experience of historical events. In so doing, artists reconsider the photograph itself as an object imbued with history. They became aware that using the medium of photography would lend the elements of specificity and truth to their work.

In Boltanski’s 1986–87 work Autel de Lycée Chases (which means “Altar to the Chases High School”) enlarged photographs of children are hung over a platform constructed from stacked tin biscuit boxes, which are rusted as if they have been ravaged by time. The black-and-white photographs look like artifacts from another era. An electric light illuminates each face while at the same time obscuring it. The arrangement gives no way to identify or connect the unnamed individuals.
The photos used in Autel de Lycée Chases were taken from a real-world source, the school photograph of the graduating class of 1931 from a Viennese high school for Jewish students. These students were coming of age in a world dominated by war and persecution, and it is likely that many perished over the next decade. [1]

Above is "Les archives de C.B." an installation piece I have had the pleasure of seeing for myself in Centre Pompidou, Paris. The first comment I could make was simply about how overwhelming it was; it stands at 2.7m high x 6.9m wide. It is made from 646 metal biscuit tins, with varying levels of rust and use and lit by black desktop lamps.

The impression is that the whole piece was erected in a rush. The implication is that this is a makeshift archive, thrown together to rescue things otherwise doomed to oblivion.
These tins contain more than 1,200 photos and 800 documents that Boltanski gathered when he cleared his atelier. These tins, in other words, contain records from his entire life as an artist, shielded from view. They are only present in his memory and privacy. [2]

Research- Freud

Towards the end of the previous post, it refers to the idea of changing the connotation of a photograph (in this case, early childhood photographs) through feeding a different idea and sewing the new "denotation" of what the image is into the mind.

Sigmund Freud, an Austrian neurologist, became known as the founding father of psychoanalysis.
"The basic tenets of psychoanalysis include the following:

1. beside the inherited constitution of personality, a person's development is determined by events in early childhood;
2. human behavior, experience, and cognition are largely determined by irrational drives;"

The 'Theory of the Uncanny' by Freud is an idea that holds high relevance towards my work and intentions; 'Das Unheimliche'- "the opposite of what is familiar".

Because the uncanny is familiar, yet strange, it often creates cognitive dissonance within the experiencing subject due to the paradoxical nature of being attracted to, yet repulsed by an object at the same time. This cognitive dissonance often leads to an outright rejection of the object, as one would rather reject than rationalise.

Research- Boltanski

Christian Boltanski is a French sculptor, painter, and film maker. However, it is his photography work that most interests me, especially his ideologies and use of connotation within still image.
He began working exclusively with photography for exploring the forms of consciousness and remembering, something similar to the work I am producing today. Whilst Boltanski's work contained "objets trouvés" (found objects), my work is still found object however more invloving the use of the readymade- for example, the use of already developed film photos- they are found and readymade (the two overlap a certain extent).

I also took other insightful quotes from the interview with Tamar Garb (Durning Lawrence Professor in the History of Art) that I thought were relevant and useful to be read and understood in context with the way I feel towards my own work:

"For exmample I often work on pieces that include clothes, and for me there is a direct relationship between a piece of clothing, and a dead body, in that someone once existed but is no longer there.. Someone has actually chosen them, loved them, but the life in them is now dead. Exhibiting them in a show is like giving the clothes a new life- like resurrecting them"
- This was of importance to note as in the previous development work running up to the FMP, I had considered using clothing within my work as a component of a possible installation or final piece of work.

"I don't feel like a photographer, more like a recycler"
- I would have thought the connection here to be pretty obvious, however needs must... This directly relates back to my own work in terms of the use of the readymade photograph- I purposely am not taking photos due to the use of nostalgia and the found image. It all collates together to create cohesion in the development and final work. Plus I find that although I already have the photographs, I can edit, chop, change and manipulate these images to fit my own ideologies.

"I have no childhood memories up to my 12th year or thereabouts... For years, I took comfort in such absence of history; its objective crispness, its apparent obviousness, its innocence protected me, but what did they protect me from"
- I guess you have to read further into this one. When reading this, I began to think about whether we truly remember our younger years, or are our memories sewn into our minds from anecdotes, stories and memorabilia that others have influenced into our minds? Do we actually remember the first time we fell off a bike? It is said that a picture paints a thousand words, but how many of those words are truth? This is where the context of images become evidently important to my work; I have worked on the idea of changing the connotation of images to feed the mind into believing something else.

C'mon Emin

It is common knowledge that Tracey Emin works from own experiences, things that have happened and even shaped her life. She is a ballsy, angsty person to say the least. Having read multiple interviews with the artist, it is clear that these aforementioned life experiences have made her into the shouty, sweary and no- nonsense creator she is today.

These are just a few examples of the work evolving around Emin's own experiences (top left: My Bed, top right: You Should Have Loved ME, bottom left: Everyone I Have Ever Slept With, bottom right: Suffer Love XXI).

However these weren't the pieces that caught my attention particularly. A work called Feeling Pregnant, was created in six separate parts, and it is II that I am looking at in terms of aesthetics; the composition and presentation of work. I'm researching this in comparision to m own work, and hopefully pick up ideas or influence in terms of the way my work will be presented for final exhibition.

It has a very clinical look instantly, the use of white background allows the work to almost sink into the background, whilst the colour of the child's shoes pop out and ask for attention.

It is for me to look into whether I would personally want my work to look so straight forward and very much aware that it is in a gallery space is this work is, or whether my idea of the domestic environment is more overwhelming and of further importance.

Background:
Told by a doctor that she was unlikely ever to bear children, she nevertheless fell pregnant and had an abortion in 1990. Following this traumatic episode she destroyed all her previous work and stopped painting for several years. [1]

Research- Billingham; Goldin

Stylised Realism & Coaxing Emotion.

Getting myself back in the library this morning, and searching on the College system for any of the artists I discovered yesterday. It did pick up a book (Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes, John Reardon) which wasn't particularly helpful, however an Aesthetica magazine was also brought to my attention.
I couldn't actually find the artist it had searched in the magazine, however it did contain a couple of brilliant article/reviews on photography through various platforms. The review that caught my attention most, was Stylised Realism & Coaxing Emotion, written by Ruby Beesley, about Jannica Honey and her works, influences and significant attributes to her photography and ideologies.

I feel like an explorer... Of sorts.

In relation to my previous post, I noted down a load of artists (that I hadn't really heard of or seen much of their work before) to look at from the various magazines that had potential to be interesting or of benefit to my research. Either that or I just thought what I saw in the print was just cool.

Library Day!

As an attempt to start as I mean to go on, I've had my head in various books and magazines for most of the afternoon. I'm pretty lucky to be able to get hold of multiple leading magazines in the modern and contemporary arts, such as Frieze, Elephant, Raw, Aesthetica, etc from the College library.

I found a review of Polish artist Christian Tomaszewski that caught my eye, after trolling through pages of works that are of little interest to me (although some looked pretty, aw).
"...The 20-odd-minute long videos included original footage of interiors and locations from which Tomaszewski removed nearly all traces of life, digitally erasing both the actors and the dialogue. What is left are austere, desolate shots that possess a haunting stillness." (Taken directly from Frieze magazine article)

Discovering his "Erased" works, almost felt like someone had stolen my thoughts, and progessed on with my work! I feel like I am doing this with the found photographs, but in still rather than moving image.

(screen shots of Erased)

Research- Gaston Bachelard

This reading was also suggested, and again I attempted to search any of Bachelard's works in the College library and was unsuccessful. Therefore as any student would, I hit up Google. I came across a few particularly un-insightful pages then stumbled upon this Blogspot review (which by the way, took about 50 million years to upload thanks to a brilliantly quick College computer).

"Sometimes the house of the future is better built, lighter and larger than all the houses of the past, so that the image of the dream house is opposed to that of the childhood home…. Maybe it is a good thing for us to keep a few dreams of a house that we shall live in later, always later, so much later, in fact, that we shall not have time to achieve it. For a house that was final, one that stood in symmetrical relation to the house we were born in, would lead to thoughts—serious, sad thoughts—and not to dreams. It is better to live in a state of impermanence than in one of finality."

From the review I highlighted a few phrases that correlated with my own concepts of my current work, and the ideas of a potential domestic environment whereby my work would/could be shown.NB: domestic environment could be created through installation piece.

"Bachelard determines that the house has both unity and complexity, it is made out of memories and experiences, its different parts arouse different sensations at yet it brings up a unitary, intimate experience of living."

"Bachelard explains his focus on the poetic image for it being the property of the innocent consciousness, something which precedes conscious thought, does not require knowledge and is the direct product of the heart and soul. This direct relation of poetry to reality, for Bachelard, intensifies the reality of perceived objects ("imagination augments the values of reality", The Poetics of Space, p.3)."